I’m a mother of four, and three of my children are daughters, so this one sits close to my heart. I think about the things I tell my girls all the time—believe in yourself, use your voice, go after what you want, and never feel like you have to make yourself smaller. But I also know they are learning from more than what I say. They are watching how I live.
Sometimes I wonder what they notice
Do they see me making room for my own dreams, or only helping everyone else reach theirs? Do they see me give myself grace when I get something wrong? Do they see me rest, ask for help, try again, and let other people care for me too? I do not always get it right. Honestly, there are probably days when what I model does not match what I tell them at all.
That is part of why this matters to me. I do not want my daughters to believe that being a strong woman means carrying everything by yourself or having every part of life figured out. I want them to know they can be confident and still have unsure days. They can be caring without forgetting themselves. They can change their minds, begin again, and grow into new versions of who they are.
Our girls do not need perfect women to look up to. They need real women. Women who make mistakes, apologize, laugh, cry, learn, set boundaries, chase dreams, and keep going. Maybe one of the best things I can show my daughters is that I am still becoming too—and that there is nothing wrong with that.
Let them see possibility
They need to see that confidence is not something a woman either has or does not have. It can be practiced. They need to know that a setback may change the plan without ending the dream. They need examples of women who begin again, learn new skills, create opportunities, lead with compassion, and make room for joy along the way.
They are also learning from the way we treat other women. Every time a girl watches us celebrate another woman without comparing, speak another woman’s name in a room of opportunity, or offer encouragement without expecting anything in return, she learns that sisterhood does not require her to shrink for someone else to shine.
You are already teaching something
You may never give a formal speech or call yourself a mentor. Still, a daughter, niece, student, neighbor, client, or younger woman may be forming an idea of what is possible by watching you. She may remember the way you handled a hard season, returned to school, started the business, left what was harming you, apologized when you were wrong, or kept a promise to yourself.
You do not have to show her a flawless life. Show her a life where women are allowed to grow. Show her that strength can include softness, leadership can include listening, and asking for support is not failure. Let her see that there is room for her dreams—and that she does not have to become anyone else to deserve that room.
What do you hope a girl learns about her future by watching the way you live today?
What are you carrying that you need permission to put down?
You do not have to answer publicly. Just tell yourself the truth.
— Aire & Ease